The Science Of Dirty Talk And Why It Increases Sexual Pleasure

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If the idea of group play piques your interest, sexting can be a safer way to start exploring that, too. “Thanks to group text/chat, sexy talk doesn’t have to be limited to two people,” says Gowan. So if you’re ready to add some naughty phrases to your arousal arsenal, ahead, sex experts explain exactly how to talk dirty and offer some scripts to get you started. Dirty talk can also be a great way for people to explore aspects of their sexual fantasies and desires. “Sexy talk can help a person feel more comfortable with their sexual selves and help them explore different sexual activities or topics before acting on them,” says L. Kris Gowen, PhD, a sexuality educator, researcher, and co-host of the podcast B4U Swipe.

Erotic Questions in a Game

This type of dirty talk is just asking questions that encourage a partner to dirty talk back to you, whether by narrating their experience, offering a compliment, or relaying directions in response. For example, you might ask, ‘Do you like how I feel? ’” And see how your partner’s response might turn up the heat. For those who are a little shy, playing character roles that align with your greatest fantasies might make talking dirty a little less uncomfortable. Sometimes, things get said in the heat of the moment that you don’t necessarily mean — and that’s not the end of the world. “The language that you use in the bedroom doesn’t necessarily reflect who you are in real life,” Stubbs says.

Reading is sexy.

Sex Ed for Grown-Ups is a series tackling everything you didn’t learn about sex in school — beyond the birds and the bees. Keep checking back for more expert-based articles and personal stories. When your partner is off at work or running errands, drop some hints about how much you want to play later on. Now that we’ve sold you on the gift of gab, let’s talk through a few ways to elevate your dirty talk game. While the last stage is the most powerful in terms of impact, this stage is certainly the most fun.

• For example, one of my personal bugbears is that we don’t tell men often enough how beautiful they are.
• All you have to do is say exactly what you want, right?
• Conscious dirty talk during sex is skillful flirting with presence.
• Dirty talk is the perfect way to enjoy fantasies that are impossible to enact in real life, or that you simply enjoy the idea of, more than the actual thing.

This isn’t ideal— especially because, unsurprisingly, the language of porn is predominantly generated by men. Sometimes we’re so nervous about impressing our partner, we forget about our own sexual needs. Don’t worry about being perceived as too demanding or audacious when telling your partner what it is you need from them. First of all, being told what to do in bed is dangerously sexy and they’ll likely feel inspired to blow your mind even further. Second of all, if they don’t care about your needs in bed, they’re selfish and that’s probably not someone you want to be sleeping with. Sex is vulnerable and often has all our insecurities flaring up at once.

Lie down with your bae and seductively strip off their clothes piece by piece. Ask them to touch one of their own body parts, like, say, their inner thigh. Then tell them exactly how you would pleasure that spot.

The next time you want to make her yours in the bedroom, try a few of these. Have a safe word or signal to let your partner know if they say something that makes you uncomfortable. Knowing you can stop at any time—no questions asked—makes trying new things less scary. The bedroom should always be a judgment-free zone, but that doesn’t make anyone invincible to embarrassment. Hiding you or your partner’s face behind a mask may help relieve shyness, or add an air of erotic mystery while dictating exactly what you want each other to do. While you masturbate, try saying your naughty thoughts aloud.

A well-timed, arousing text message can add spark to any relationship, whether you’re in a long-distance relationship, in a situationship, or just looking to keep things spicy with your committed partner. The trick to successful sexting is keeping it genuine, having fun, and consensual. Sexting, the 21st-century version of the classic steamy love letter, is sending sexually explicit messages via text. It’s no surprise how popular sexting has become when you consider how much time the average person spends on their phones, but you can sext via email and other messaging services, too. If you decide to test out a new conversation topic, take it slow. Dirty talk might feel awkward, especially at first, but you’ll find your rhythm with time and practice.

Dirty texts can be a great way to see where her boundaries are and to be light and flirty to gauge how the tone changes. Dirty talking is about making sex a more eagerly anticipated and heightened experience. Here’s a breakdown of each stage to sexy talk perfection.